When I think of my dad, I think of jazz. My father loves to sit in front of a vinyl, taking in every single vibration of music, differentiating between every instrument. My dad is also the biggest New-Yorker who is not a New-Yorker that I’ve ever met. He’s been a lifelong die-hard fan of the Yankees, and just gives off east-coast energy more than any other LDS man I’ve ever met. I grew up in the 2000’s, and yet parts of my childhood felt warm and gritty with hints of grain and brass. One of my father’s favorite songs of all time is “My Way” by Frank Sinatra. This is something he and I have in common.
I think that to do something “your way,” can also be messy. It doesn’t mean that all of your wildest dreams will necessarily come true, exactly the way that you want them to. Life happens, and life is real and unrelenting. Perhaps to do it your way, just means to continue listening to that inner voice above all else. What is your inner voice telling you?
The other night I stumbled across the concept of “dharma” being presented from a trusted modern source (it was an Instagram influencer). I thought the concept was so fascinating and went on to do my own studying. (Obvious disclaimer: This is an amateur explanation)! Dharma is a concept that is part of many religions, In Hinduism specifically, dharma refers to both the eternal order that governs the universe, and the duty that governs one’s own life. Fulfilling your own individual dharma, is both fulfilling your purpose, and the means by which you can transcend suffering. Dharma also points to another Hindu concept called Rta, the natural order of the cosmos, which is responsible for the natural functioning and movements within life.
What I love about this concept, is that it highlights the idea that each of us have a specific way that we can serve others and bring light to the universe, and it emphasizes that the best way to do this is to truly align with who we are and what our soul is telling us at our core. Perhaps it also suggests that the universe is in most balance, when we fully align with ourselves and our individual hearts. That’s important to me for a few reasons, and one is the fact that I lived most of my life unaligned with myself.
I grew up in a very religious home and culture and was always taught that the noble thing to do was to “deny yourself” and give up your own wants. I’m not saying that this concept doesn’t have any wisdom in it, in certain contexts, but I think I applied it in all the wrong places. I also grew up in a family that was graced with social prowess and athletic genius, and I was graced with neither. However, I spent many years trying to make myself out to be that way, and simultaneously denied myself my own gifts, my own interests, and my own identity.
Back to the influencer for a moment: she explained dharma in more of an Instagram graphic sort of way, (I know, I know) but I loved it. It was probably more of her own take on dharma, but she shared a Venn Diagram with “dharma” being the overlapping category in the center. Surrounding it were categories such as “What you enjoy,” “What you’re gifted at,” “How you can serve others,” and “How you can make money.” This made me think and led me to write down a lot of my own things. Here’s what I did to ponder:
I thought about the things that resonate with my soul. I asked myself WHEN do I feel most connected to my authentic gifts/identity, WHERE do I feel most connected, and WHAT makes me feel most connected? (I opened a notebook and made a list of things like “The Ocean,” “Music,” “Writing,” “Bustling Cities,” “Helping Others Heal).” I even busted out some colored pencils and drew some cute pictures. Try this if you need to be reminded of what you’re connected to!
It’s so amazing that I get to have access to amazing wisdom from cultures and religions that originated on another sub-continent. In a way, wisdom is universal. Others may have ancient concepts of spiritual enlightenment, but over here in the US, we have Sinatra. ;) Here is this rendition of the “My Way”, live from Madison Square Garden. To me, the stunning instrumentation and Sinatra’s rich voice are like medicine. It’s a spiritual experience.
I love this song because it shows that maybe this process is not so perfect in real life. It acknowledges that the journey is scrappy and rough; and that’s beautiful. What matters most is that throughout your journey, you persevere and (try) to remain authentic to you. That is where the magic is.